I am a modern homesteader which means I am busy juggling family, home, farm, work, and making sure everything is running smoothly. I love working from home and consider myself fortunate for having the ability to do so. The downside of this arrangement is that I often find my self taking care of everyone and everything around the clock and since there is here is no distinction between work and home, I occasionally forget to take care of myself.
This hasn’t happened in a long time though because I started following a few rules I set down for myself. Now personally, I hate rules, they are constricting and stifling, life is for living not for following the rules. Most rules in life I consider more as a suggestion, or maybe a guideline to occasionally follow. But my self-care rules are firm. It is my responsibility to take care of myself.
But darlingin the end, you’ve got to be your own hero, because everyone’s busy trying to save themselves.
-Anonymous
My self care guidelines are there to keep me sane and remind me that I am important too. Most of the obligation and stress is placed on me, by me. My husband will tell me that I need to relax, and at the moment I agree with him, but then my sneaky inner voice will whisper that I am being a wimp and I should be able to handle it all.
This last year has been a challenge, sending children to college, medical issues for my husband, financial strain relating to the first two subjects, loss in the family, and relatives that need our assistance.” I feel thin, sort of stretched, like butter scraped over too much bread.” Sorry, I just watched Lord of the Rings again for the thousandth time and this quote caught my attention, not because of a magical evil ring but because I am constantly being pulled from every direction and this is exactly how I can feel if I am not careful.
Well, this is where the rules come in.
The 7 Rules of Self-Care
- Sleep– I cannot stress this one enough. When I start to feel as if life would be better with three more hours in the day I know that this is when it is time to sleep. Seven to eight hours of sleep is my minimum, I make myself put down the project, stop what I am doing and sleep. I used to struggle with this one all the time, once the kids went to bed I just wanted a few hours to myself, a nice conversation, maybe read a book in peace. Then morning would come and I would be a zombie all day grouchy and irritable and then evening would come and I would and do it all over again. Sleep is not just self- care for your state of mind it is also important for your health as well. Studies show that lack of sleep can affect your immune system. People who don’t get quality sleep or enough sleep are more likely to get sick after being exposed to a virus, such as a common cold virus. Long-term lack of sleep can increase your risk of obesity, diabetes, and heart and cardiovascular disease. Go to sleep.
- Exercise– Get out there, get moving. I don’t mean chores, such as vacuuming and gardening, I mean exercise for the sake of moving and resetting your buttons. Walking, hiking, swimming, yoga, something that gets your heart rate up but you enjoy also. This is for you, don’t treat it as an obligation or a chore, treat it as a moment for you. I walk, as often as possible. It is my time and my moment to clear my head, I always come back feeling better.
- Get Rid of Guilt– Guilt is truly a lying asshole of
an emotion and it is often destructive and rarely if ever productive. It can and will hinder your ability to make clear healthy decisions for your self. Okay, it occasionally has its uses, if you rob a bank feel bad, if you hit someone with your car feel bad, but just because you didn’t say yes to another volunteer group or didn’t make the perfect costume for little Susie’s school play then so what? They will find someone else to volunteer and Susie will be happyanyways because that’s how kids are. Empathy and guilt are not the same so don’t confuse them. Empathy is a healthy emotion, one of compassion and caring. You know the thing that makes you not a sociopath. My goal in life is to be a nice person and try not to do things that make me feel guilty, and if I’m wrong then I will try again tomorrow. - Maintain Friendships– A girls/ guys night out is invaluable. Many a problem has been solved over a pint or a glass of wine with a good friend. Friends provide the balance and feedback that you need beyond your family circle.
- Eat Whole Foods– Whole nutrient dense food is best for a busy life, it will give you the start you need in the morning and keep you going until evening. Eating small meals also help control the urge to reach for those sugar-laden empty snacks that cause us to crash in just an hour.
- Stay in the Moment– I still have a hard time being in the moment. I am always convinced that I can do more than one thing at once. For example, if I am sitting with the family I think I should be working on my computer or ordering seeds for next spring rather than just enjoying my family’s company. Relax and enjoy what’s in front of you.
- Learn to Say No– I admit I am a people pleaser, I want to make people happy by helping and contributing to a worthy project, or by helping a family member. This is not necessarily a bad trait, usually, until I am pulling my hair out and losing sleep because I said ‘Yes!’ too much, then that trait becomes destructive. I now only say yes to things that matter or that I am passionate about and I wait 24 hours before saying yes. Getting rid of the impulsive yes has helped a lot.
Thanks for the reminders! Very much needed. 🙂