Unfortunately for my family and me, I did not hoard toilet paper. So as my dwindling supply of toilet paper runs out I’ve been brainstorming some alternatives for my family. And since I can’t help you in any other way like telling you how to make your own hand sanitizer or creat herbal medications, I thought I’d pass along some useful toilet paper alternatives. Almost everyone should have at least some of these items in the house or outside the house.
A word of caution, please do not flush anything besides toilet paper down your toilet. You don’t want to call a plumber or worse yet deal with the mess yourself when your toilet backs up because it will.
Paper Products
These would include paper towels, baby wipes, disposable moist towelettes, old newspapers, magazines (a bit crispy), and hand wipes (non-alcohol).
Disposal: Throw all non-toilet paper products away in the garbage or burn them outside in a metal garbage can. Don’t breathe in the fumes from the burning garbage! Galvanized metal from the garbage can is toxic when burning.
Clothes
Really any old cloth items would do, cut into a 4″x4″ chunk. Old socks, hand towels, that old ratty T-shirt with the blown-out armpits you can’t wear in public, rags, washcloths, handkerchiefs, really any old soft clothes.
Disposal: Again, do NOT flush these down the toilet. You can throw them away in the garbage, burn them like paper (see above) or better yet, reuse them. Treat the used rags like people use to wash cloth diapers. Throw the rags in a plastic bucket of water and vinegar or bleach and let them soak. When you’re ready to wash a load of rags, pour the old bleach/vinegar water out in the toilet and throw the rags in the washing machine. Throw in about a cup of white vinegar or a bit of oxi clean and wash on warm. If the rags are really bad, try a pre-wash first followed by a normal wash. Dry and reuse.
Water
You lucky, lucky person if you already have a bidet. This section is not addressed to you at all. If you are like me though and don’t have a bidet, you do have other options to use water. You could, of course, pour a cup of water on your bum or use a spray bottle to clean with but I think the best way to clean your self without a bidet is with those squeezy sports water bottles (see picture below). I used one after I gave birth to my kids and it worked like a charm. Pour some lukewarm water in it and squeeze away, ladies squeeze at your front side, it’s like wiping, directional rules apply as well here.
Others
Now, these are real ways to wipe your bum, I swear. Some I’ve used, and some I’ve heard of others using.
- Pinecones: I know, I know, poky right? My husband used one when he was camping.
- Rocks: Again my husband, he recommends a flat one that comfortably fits in your hand.
- Moss: I have lots of moss where I live, I’ve used it. Wipe and then maybe use the water technique as well since there might be some moss debris leftover.
- Leaves: ONLY if you are 100% confident in your plant identification. A rashy bum is really not worth the risk. I’d personally recommend thimbleberry, birch, and poplar leaves. Maple leaves work too.
- Corn husks: I’ve heard of people using them but maybe they lived on a corn farm. I certainly don’t have any. Good for you if you do though, I heard they’re quite efficient.
- Snowballs: It’s my favorite thing I saw today on facebook. We still have snow up here so I suppose it will work.
Ok if you throw rocks, leaves, pinecones, or moss in your toilet then you deserve the mess that follows. Don’t do it! Throw them away in the garbage or way, way, way away from your house, but not in your neighbors’ yard or they might retaliate.
All right, those are my recommendations. I hope they help. Personally I’m going to use some combination of the rag clothes and the water bottle method myself. We’ll see if my family agrees to it.
This was fun and had some great ideas I had not thought of April! Thanks.
Good job April
Toilet paper manufacturers are working as fast as they can and rest assured, if your store isn t currently restocked, refills will be available in the near future.